Love & Learn Read online

  “This is really good,” he said, with his mouth full.

  Why was he staring at her legs? They were just eating, and they had both agreed that it would be a bad idea to let anything else happen between them.

  But all he could think about was how he had slipped in between those smooth thighs, and buried himself inside of her and —

  He nearly choked on his burger and had to take a large sip of his bourbon and coke.

  She looked a little concerned but kept eating. She took a couple of fries, dipping them in ketchup before slipping them into her mouth. He couldn’t stop himself from staring at her lips. The lip gloss seemed undisturbed by her eating. Either that or her lips really were that red and full and shiny. Her tongue slipped out to clean up some crumbs from the burger, and he had to shift on the seat a little to make himself more comfortable. God, she was only eating a burger, but his whole body was at attention.

  He took another big gulp of the spiked soda and finished his burger to distract himself. They were driving through the park, and as he looked out the window, he could see one of the horse-drawn carriages that drove couples around the park. In this one, another newlywed couple was kissing passionately. The bride was still wearing her wedding dress and the veil. Seeing them reminded him that this was his wedding day, too.

  He grabbed a couple of fries and chewed on them. This was no regular wedding day, that was for sure. It was nothing like his first wedding day, either. He and his first wife had gotten married at the City Clerk’s offices as well, just like today, but they had met up with some friends afterward for a pizza party. There had been no money for limousines back then. He didn’t know if that had made any difference, though. He thought that they probably had been in love, but over time, they had just grown apart. The people they had been at 25 had not been the same people that they’d been at 30. God, it felt like a lifetime ago.

  He glanced over at Lizzie. She’d finished her burger and was sipping her soda slowly, those luscious lips wrapped around the straw in a way that made him ache. She looked very young.

  40

  Lizzie

  “How old were you, again?” he asked. “I know you told me, but …”

  She was surprised by his question.

  “23,” she replied. “Why?”

  “Just wondering.”

  But he did look a little shocked. He didn’t say anything else, and she didn’t ask what he was thinking. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. There was something in his eyes that made it difficult to relax. Something not quite business-like.

  When he looked at her like that, her whole body responded. Her nipples were in full attention, and she wished that she’d worn a bra. The soft, silky fabric of her dress felt like sensual caresses against her hard nipples every time she moved, and it was torture, albeit a pleasurable one.

  The spiked coke calmed her down, though, so she drank some more. It made her feel all warm and soft inside.

  She caught a glimpse of a married couple in a carriage in the park, and it reminded her that this was her wedding day too. She was a bride, if not in the conventional sense. Glancing over at Henry, she couldn’t help but wonder what memories all of this brought back for him. After all, he’d been married before.

  “How old were you when you and Julia’s mother got married?” she asked.

  “Twenty-seven,” he said and grimaced. “We were married for three years.”

  “And she never told you that she was pregnant when you divorced?”

  “No.” He looked out the window. Then he glanced over at her. “I guess she thought both she and Julia would be better off without me.”

  She could tell that he tried to sound flippant, but the pain in his voice was real.

  “Well, she was wrong,” she said.

  He looked surprised. Then he said, “You don’t know me.”

  “In many ways, no.” She was silent for a while. “But in some ways, I do,” she continued. “I see you with Julia. I can tell that you want to be a father to her. And you will.” She paused again. “And you will be a great father to little Danny as well one day, when you decide to be.”

  Was it just her imagination, or did he look a bit annoyed at hearing that? “I’m no good with babies,” he said dismissively.

  “You just don’t have any experience with them.”

  He looked closer at her. “But you do.” Not a question. Just a statement of fact.

  “Yes.” Not an explanation. Just a statement of fact, as well.

  He looked as if he wanted to ask her about it, but in the end, chose not to. She was relieved. She could never tell him about the babies she had cared for. Her little brother and sister. If he knew the life she’d led before coming to New York, he’d never want her anywhere near his precious daughter.

  “I’ll help you with Danny,” she said. “You will learn to love him, eventually.”

  He looked doubtful. “Don’t …” he said.

  “Don’t what?” she asked.

  “Don’t … push.”

  “OK.”

  They both sat there silent for a while as the car turned and drove back through the park. It was completely dark outside, and the limousine’s engine purred softly. She could feel the vibrations throughout her entire body. It felt good. Or perhaps it was the vodka. She took another sip.

  “I don’t know how you do it,” he said eventually.

  “Do what?”

  “Bond with the kids,” he said. “You are more of a mother to Danny than I’ll ever be a father to Julia, and you have no connection to either of them. He took to you as soon as you picked him up. It was amazing.”

  She smiled. “He is a darling little boy,” she said. “What’s not to love?”

  He looked at her. “Is it really that easy for you?”

  “What?”

  He was silent for a long time before replying. “Loving.”

  He looked straight at her, and their eyes met. She could feel her insides melting, and a million different emotions got all tangled up together. The fear and tension of being homeless, the ecstasy and elation of their night in that magical four-poster bed, the happiness in finding a job she was good at. And last but definitely not least: the children that needed her, that depended on her, and the wonderful feeling of finally being able to give someone exactly what they needed.

  And of course, the feeling of being here with Henry, in the darkness in the back of the limousine, just a couple of feet away from him, with his manly, adventurous scent in her nostrils, her entire body vibrating with its awareness of him …

  “Oh, yes …” she whispered, and all of a sudden, she realized that her statement was true on so many levels. It would be so very easy to love him, to fall helplessly in love with him and never stop falling for as long as she lived. He was an amazing man, so very impressive on so many levels. And above all, she could see the man that he would become, the father that he would become, and to a woman like her, who had grown up without a father figure, that was the most irresistible of all.

  But he could never love a woman like her. He had already expressed his disregard for her, even though he had apologized for that. He probably just thought of her as someone he paid to perform a service, like the nanny or the driver of this limousine. How had he put it? Just a business transaction.

  And she was not the kind of woman who had sex for money. No matter how wealthy he was, he would never be able to buy that from her.

  He was still staring at her, still with that primal hunger in his eyes. And she knew she had to be strong now, knew that she had to resist the temptation to give in. Because he could never love a woman like her. It would always be just about the money, between him and her, as far as he was concerned.

  And to her, it would always be about so much more.

  But when he looked at her like that, she started to falter. That was not the look of a man who only had business on his mind.

  “You truly are an amazing woman,” he said.

 
Her heart swelled in her chest. She wasn’t sure what he was referring to, but she didn’t want to ask. Perhaps he was just impressed with her ability to eat a large cheeseburger in three minutes flat, without smudging her lip gloss. Perhaps he hadn’t ever seen breasts like hers in the wild, with a no-implants-no-photoshop-guarantee. Either way, she didn’t want to know.

  Because the one thing she could be certain of was that he’d never fall for a woman like her. Would never even consider a woman like her as his partner. That was not what this marriage was about for him.

  “I just realized that the officiant forgot one thing,” he said.

  She frowned. “What?”

  He was staring at her hard now, his eyes wandering back and forth between her eyes and her lips. “He never said ‘you may kiss the bride’,” he said, and his voice was barely more than a whisper.

  “Oh.”

  She didn’t know what to think. Had he changed his mind? Did he really like her, as a person? Could he, eventually, potentially, fall in love with her? Could they be a couple for real?

  No. That was just her imagination running wild.

  “Well, then,” she said, steeling herself, even though the rest of her body was screaming at her to please just let him do it. “It’s official. You may not. If the honored justice Bernstein didn’t give you permission, I’m certainly not going to. I am a good and law-abiding woman.”

  The fire in his eyes flamed up even more intensely. “Oh no,” he said. “If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that you are anything but law-abiding.” He paused, licking his lips. “But I know for a fact that you are very, very good. And I love that about you.”

  The word love coming from his lips caused something to short-circuit in her brain. The rest of the sentence was ignored. No one had ever told her that they loved her. This was the closest she’d ever come. And her brain chose to take it and run with it.

  Before she knew what was happening, she had leaned forward and placed her lips against his.

  41

  Henry

  It had only taken a few minutes for the tension between them to become intense, and he was struggling to keep a straight face when the situation suddenly got entirely out of control. He could hear himself saying all the wrong things, if he wanted to keep their marriage sex-less and strictly business. Which he did. Honestly. He just couldn’t stop himself.

  And before he knew what was happening, she leaned over and kissed him. The shock of her lips against his, and her chest—oh, my god, her chest—against his, and her hand on his thigh—really high up on his thigh— and …

  Yeah, no, he never really stood a chance.

  The next thing he knew, she was sliding over the wide backseat, slowly climbing up on his lap, straddling him and pushing her breasts up in his face. Without ever making any sort of conscious decision, his shirt was unbuttoned, and her hands explored everywhere she could reach, leaving electric trails across his skin that he was certain could be seen in the darkness in the back of the limo.

  They kissed, deeply, repeatedly, tugging, licking, sucking, groaning, and they pulled at each other’s clothes, hungry, eager to get to the naked skin underneath. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and he could feel her nipples pushing through the thin fabric of the dress, hard against his cheeks when he lowered his face to them, and she rose up on her knees to meet him.

  Somehow, he wasn’t sure how, his trousers were unzipped, and he was liberated from the constricting fabric, and his hands moved up underneath her dress, over her silky thighs and onto her round buttocks, firm under the soft skin. And then her thong was pushed to the side, and she lowered herself down on him in one smooth motion that told him that she’d been as eager for this as he was. The sensation was intense, otherworldly, surreal …

  Magical.

  “Oh, Lizzie,” he groaned, burying his face between her incredible breasts, grabbing her butt with both hands, grinding her against him. He wanted to tell her to stop, that they shouldn’t be doing this, but who was he kidding? No one, that’s who. He had been aching for her for so long, all through Europe, and even more during the last week when he’d been forced to sleep next to her without touching her amazing, sensual body.

  She was his wife, for crying out loud! This was OK, even expected. And wouldn’t it be much easier to keep up the pretense of this marriage, if they looked as if they were mad for each other? If they stole kisses and touched each other and looked at each other like she’d been looking at him just now?

  Sure, it was purely physical, but so what, if it was just for a week or two? They could have a lot of fun in that time. And it would seriously take the edge off all the stress he’d been feeling if he knew that he could lose himself between Lizzie’s long, luscious legs every night, once the kids had gone to bed. If he could cuddle those amazing breasts as he was dozing off.

  And if that reasoning didn’t hold water, Henry didn’t really care at this moment. This felt so good, she felt so good, and he wanted to relish this experience for as long as he could.

  Lizzie wouldn’t want to be stuck with an old man like him for long, anyway. Sure, it could be fun for a while, but she’d want to move on once their arrangement had come to an end. It would just be physical for her as well, and that was fine.

  He had absolutely no problem at all with having a strictly physical relationship with the most beautiful woman in New York.

  42

  Lizzie

  Her heart was beating so fast that she thought it would burst out of her chest, and she moved faster, up and down, feeling the sensation building throughout her body. It felt electric, as if she was lit up, glowing from head to toe.

  He nuzzled her breasts and suckled one of her rock-hard nipples, and it caused a tingle that went straight to the core of her. God, this was so intense, and it was not just the physical sensation. It was so much more.

  She could feel his hands wandering over her body, grabbing her, squeezing her, caressing her. My husband, she thought, and the mere idea of it all almost made her come right away. My handsome husband.

  Unbelievable. And still … She could feel it. There had to be something more between them, aside from money, aside from just lust. She could feel it in his hunger, in the way he looked at her, licked her, kissed her, suckled her. She felt it in her heart. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for him at this moment. Nothing at all. Feeling him moving inside of her, filling her up, pushing deep, over and over, she knew that she had never been this happy before. This was the best thing that had ever happened to her, by far.

  He sat up on the seat, with her on his lap, and took off his jacket. He spread it out on the soft carpet on the floor of the limousine and lay her down gently, still pushed all the way inside of her. Supporting himself with one arm, almost upright, he pulled her dress down to bare her breasts, with an explosive sigh once they were both exposed.

  “Oh, Lizzie,” he said, and she wished he’d say it. That he’d tell her that he loved her. But he didn’t. Of course, he didn’t. She knew how hard that was for him. But she would teach him. Teach him how to be the man that he wanted to be, the father that he wanted to be. The husband. Oh, she could teach him all those things. Because she knew that she had more than enough love in her broken little heart for him and his children. She had love to spare for all of them.

  As much as she’d love to hear him say the words, for now, she’d settle for his actions. The way he looked at her. The way he caressed her. The way he didn’t seem to be able to get close enough, kiss her deep enough, and had to come back for more. The way he’d told her that this would never ever happen again between them, and now, here he was, deep inside of her. Wasn’t that love?

  He looked deep into her eyes, a smoldering heat in his dark brown eyes. Surely, that was what love looked like? It was what her love felt like, whenever she was near him. Like molten lava, constantly threatening to erupt.

  And then he started moving again, slow and first, but then faster and more forceful,
pushing himself deeper with every thrust. And she expected him to pull out well ahead of time, very much aware of the fact that they weren’t using a condom.

  But he didn’t.

  Instead, he kept thrusting as his free hand reached down between them and rubbed her hard knob determinedly until she exploded, her whole body flooded by endorphins and lava and love, yes pure and unadulterated love, and her head filled with fireworks and her entire being dissolved into pure bliss.

  And somewhere in the middle of that semi-conscious state, she felt Henry climaxing as well, buried deep inside of her. It was the ultimate declaration of love, as far as Lizzie was concerned.

  43

  Henry

  It was the stupidest thing he’d ever done, as far as Henry was concerned. And he’d done a few really stupid things over the years.

  He stuck his tongue out and stared at it in the bathroom mirror. Strange. It didn’t look furry.

  He groaned and staggered into the shower. As the water pounded down on his head and sprayed his body from all angles, he tried not to think about the fact that he had slept with Lizzie last night. But how could he not think about that?

  Having sex with Lizzie, after he’d sworn he wouldn’t. And not using protection.

  Oh. So. Very. Stupid.

  There is no one as stupid as an old man in the company of a young woman. Wasn’t that a famous saying?

  Well, if it wasn’t, it damn well ought to be.

  Because Lizzie made him do stupid things.

  Ah, well, what was done was done, and she was probably on birth control anyway. She was a sensible girl, even if he was a stupid old man.

  And this morning, he felt every single one of his forty-six years. He had a hangover that made his head feel twice its regular size, and his mouth tasted as if something had died in there.