Love & Learn Page 9

  Oh, this was a nightmare.

  Somehow, he managed to turn the baby, so that he held it facing out against his chest with one arm. Now, that was better. The child seemed confused, momentarily, and the screams waned a bit. Henry took advantage of the calm and walked into his ensuite. Standing in front of the large mirror over the vanity quietened the baby even more. Yes! He grabbed a whole fistful of tissues and wiped the child’s face, making sure not to get any of the gooey stuff on his fingers. How could such a small body produce such quantities of mucus?

  The little boy was staring at him in the mirror. Henry looked back, meeting the child’s gaze. It was the strangest thing. He didn’t think he’d ever held a baby before, and he’d certainly never been alone with one. The child’s eyes were blue, like its mother’s. They were looking at him with a mild curiosity, and perhaps a little skepticism. Henry couldn’t blame him.

  He took advantage of the silence and pulled his phone out of his pocket, quickly ordering two pizzas. By the time he heard the other bathroom door open, he’d calmed down a little. He could do this. He was managing. But as soon as he turned to leave the ensuite, the baby started wailing again.

  “Oh, please,” he muttered. “I am not going to stand in front of that mirror all day, if that’s what you’re thinking. That is not my idea of fun.”

  Julia stood in the hallway. He went to hand the baby back to her, but she didn’t take him. “Actually,” she said. “Could you just hold him while I grab a quick shower?”

  He tried not to show his frustration but wasn’t sure how good a job he did of that. “Sure.” He looked down at the baby’s head. “We’re having a great time, Danny and I.” He jiggled the baby a little, like he’d seen Julia and Lizzie do. Julia got her suitcase by the door and rolled it into the guest bedroom. Did that mean that she had decided to stay? A spark of joy lit up somewhere deep inside his chest.

  Oh, if that was true, he could put up with a snotty, screaming baby. It was just for a little while longer, surely. Lizzie must be on her way back by now.

  He walked back into his ensuite. Best to stick to what works in a situation like this. As soon as the baby spotted his own red face in the mirror, he stopped screaming. He crammed one of his chubby fists into his mouth and gnawed on it.

  “Are you hungry, little guy?” Henry asked. He could feel a hollow in his own stomach. “Yeah, me too. But the pizza is on its way. Should be here any minute.”

  They stood there, looking at themselves in the mirror. Henry could hear Julia going into the guest bathroom, and then the shower turning on. Had she made up her mind yet? Was she going to stay? If that was the case, he could stand here in front of the bathroom mirror with the kid. As long as the baby didn’t scream, he could do this.

  It got a bit dull, though, rather quickly. Just staring at himself in the mirror wasn’t as intellectually stimulating as some of Henry’s favorite pastimes. And he was really tired. The long flight and the short night was catching up with him.

  Oh, Lizzie, where are you, he thought. Surely, she had to be on her way back by now. She had been gone for hours.

  He strained to hear her key in the lock, but another sound came first.

  The sound of the baby pooping in his diaper.

  26

  Lizzie

  Lizzie had hurried back, but traffic had been slow, and the line at the supermarket where she’d stopped to pick up some things for the baby had been a mile long. Now, she was finally on her way back up the elevator. She had met the little old lady with the long-haired dog in the foyer, and it had felt so good to be able to smile at them and say hello, as if she had every right to be here.

  For the first time, she did have every right to be here. Henry had agreed to let her stay.

  The elderly woman had smiled and said hello back, before continuing toward the door with the little dog in tow. Lizzie stepped into the elevator, still smiling. There was such a huge difference in the way people treated her, compared to when she was dressed up for a stripper gig, showing lots of cleavage. It shouldn’t make any difference, but people were weird when it came to boobs.

  Henry was standing in the hallway, the baby at arm’s length. From the guest bathroom, Lizzie could hear a running shower.

  “Hello,” she said. “How did it go?”

  His face was a picture of despair, tense and pale, and hollow-eyed. “Oh, thank god you’re back!” He came toward her, pushing the baby into her arms. She put down her shopping and grabbed Danny. As soon as she wrapped her arms around him, she could smell the reason for Henry’s distress.

  “Oh,” she said. “Well, why didn’t you just change him?”

  Henry looked at her as if she’d said something absurd. “I’ve never changed a diaper in my life,” he said. “And somehow I don’t think that my first attempt should be with a … number two.”

  She smiled. “Alright. I’ll do it. But then you have to put away the shopping.” She left the bags on the floor and walked into the guest bedroom. The diaper bag was underneath the stroller.

  She spread out the changing pad on the bed and quickly removed the dirty diaper. The baby’s bottom was as red as his face. “Oh, dear,” she muttered, cleaning him thoroughly and putting a thick layer of salve on his inflamed skin before putting on a clean diaper. She found a onesie with a funny giraffe print in the diaper bag and put it on. “There now, Danny, darling,” she said soothingly. The baby looked up at her with big eyes. “I know,” she said. “This is a strange place, and I am not your mommy, but I am doing the very best I can.” She paused. “And so is Henry.”

  “I don’t think he wants Danny here,” came Julia’s voice from the door.

  Lizzie startled but then smiled. The girl was as flushed as her brother, but from a long, hot shower, instead of a fever. Her hair was wet and tangled, and she’d put on clean clothes: a purple sequined T-shirt and a pair of white jeans. Her feet were bare. She walked over to her open suitcase on the floor by the window and dropped her washbag and the dirty laundry on top.

  “This was all so unexpected,” Lizzie said. “He’s still trying to wrap his head around being a father. I think he’s having some difficulty processing all other aspects of the situation.” She paused. “But he’ll get there. He does want you to stay here.” She glanced down at the baby. “Both of you. He doesn’t have a lot of experience with babies, but he knows that it is important that you and your brother stay together.”

  Julia studied her face with a suspicious frown. “How long have you two been a couple?” she asked.

  Lizzie busied herself, tidying away the dirty diaper and wipes. “Oh, not that long,” she answered vaguely. “But when it’s right, it’s right.”

  “So, you guys are going to get married?”

  She smiled but was worried that it would look fake, so instead, she picked up the baby and walked toward the door, turning her back toward Julia. “Sure.”

  “When?”

  “Oh … we haven’t set a date yet.”

  Julia regarded her with a scrutinizing look. “I have a big decision to make,” she said eventually. “I need to know what my options are.”

  Lizzie stopped and turned toward her. “I thought the social worker explained all that.”

  Julia looked her straight in the eye. “But she doesn’t have the whole picture, does she? She didn’t know that Henry had a fiancée, for instance.”

  Lizzie shrugged. “It’s not something we’ve been very public about.”

  Julia kept up her stare. “But he is like … a celebrity or something.”

  Lizzie smiled. “He’s a bestselling author.”

  Julia didn’t look impressed. “But he doesn’t have a family.”

  Lizzie looked down on little Danny. “No. He doesn’t.”

  “Were you planning to have kids?”

  Lizzie’s eyebrows rose. “I … We haven’t really discussed it.”

  Julia looked skeptical. “But it would change everything for the two of you, wouldn�
�t it? If me and Danny came to stay with you?”

  It was a provocative statement, but Lizzie could understand where she was coming from. Julia had lost both her parents, and she was afraid of losing her little brother as well. She was not prepared to let Lizzie in, just to lose her again. She wanted to make sure that the adults she chose to trust would stick around.

  The realization cut Lizzie like a knife to the chest. Was she hurting this girl by pretending to be someone she wasn’t? Would her presence here cause more harm than it did good?

  She was doing Henry a favor by pretending to be his fiancée. And in return, she had a place to stay until she’d found a new apartment.

  But was she doing all this at the children’s expense?

  27

  Henry

  Julia had been skeptical about the pizza because it looked different from what she was used to from Los Angeles, but after trying a slice, she had declared it to be OK. High praise from a teenager, Henry guessed. Now, the four of them were all seated at the dining table in the living room. To an outsider, they might look like a family; a man and a woman and two children. But it would have to be an outsider with poor eyesight and no real sense of subtext. He was amazed that the social worker had believed that he and Lizzie were a couple. They were completely different and had absolutely nothing in common.

  Lizzie had prepared a bottle of formula for the baby, and he’d finished it all. Now he was gnawing on a piece of pizza crust with great enthusiasm. The whole front of his onesie was wet from his drool. Henry tried not to look.

  Lizzie had taken one slice of Henry’s pepperoni pizza, eating slowly at first. A bite here and a bit there, while she’d made sure that everyone else had something to drink and so on. After a while, when everyone had settled in, she’d seemed to relax. She’d tried a slice of Julia’s vegetable pizza as well and declared it delicious. “But it would have been even better with some pepperoni,” she’d joked, and Julia had rolled her eyes, but laughed a little.

  She truly was the Mary Poppins of strippers. It was no small feat getting a girl who’d just lost her parents to laugh at a lame joke. And the baby was smitten with her, too, for sure. Well, those boobs must look like heaven to a baby.

  They looked like heaven to him, and he’d been eating solid foods for almost five decades.

  The doorbell buzzed. It was Ms. Fish. Lizzie offered her some food. He’d ordered way too much, and there were plenty of leftovers.

  “No, thank you,” Ms. Fish replied. She sat down at the end of the table, looking at Danny and then at Julia. “How was your day?”

  Julia had just taken a big bite of her veggie pizza. “New York pizza tastes weird,” she said with her mouth full. “But I guess I’ll get used to it.”

  Ms. Fish smiled. “I guess you will. If you decide to stay.” She glanced over at Henry. “Have you all had time to reflect on what you want?”

  Julia put her pizza slice down and reached for her water glass. “I just want to make sure that Danny and I get to stay together,” she said, taking a big sip.

  Ms. Fish turned toward Henry and Lizzie. “And have you two had a chance to discuss your views on the matter?”

  He looked at Lizzie. She occupied herself with wiping the baby’s mouth. He turned toward the social worker. “I won’t deny that I’ve had a bit of a shock,” he said. “Finding out that you have a child is life-altering.” He looked over at Julia. “Finding out that you have a teenager …” he said and smiled a little. Julia didn’t smile back. He looked at Ms. Fish again. “I am eager to get to know my daughter and try to make up for all the years I’ve missed.” He leaned back, putting his arm on the backrest of Lizzie’s chair. “I have no experience with children, but my lovely fiancée here has a great way with them, and as you can see, she and little Danny have already bonded. I can easily provide for both children, if that is what it takes for Julia to want to live with me.”

  Ms. Fish nodded. “I’ve spoken to my boss. She was surprised to hear about your fiancée. Apparently, you have a bit of a reputation as a confirmed bachelor.” She smiled apologetically. “And from what I can tell, the two of you certainly have all the necessary means to care and provide for both children, even though the social services would have preferred to place little Danny with his aunt, for the biological connection.”

  “He’s my brother,” Julia said vehemently. “Isn’t that a closer biological connection than an aunt?”

  Ms. Fish smiled indulgently. “Yes, of course, dear. But you wouldn’t be caring for the child on a daily basis, now, would you?”

  Julia scowled at her. “Well, if Danny is going to live with her, then I’m going to stay in Los Angeles as well. You’ll have to find me a foster family somewhere nearby.”

  Ms. Fish looked tired. “Julia, we’ve talked about this. In the foster system, you don’t get to pick and choose. If you decide not to stay with your father, I have very little control over where you’d end up.”

  “I’m not going anywhere where Danny and I can’t be together,” Julia said determinedly.

  There were tears in her voice, even though her eyes were dry, and she tried to look more angry than sad but didn’t quite succeed. Oh, she had inherited his stubborn streak. Poor girl.

  This might end up being more difficult than he’d thought.

  Ms. Fish sighed and looked over at little Danny on Lizzie’s lap. “My boss and I both feel that the best thing for little Danny right now is to forge a strong bond with a new mother figure as soon as possible. He has lost both parents, and that is a major trauma at any age.”

  She folded her hands on the table, looking sternly at Julia. “The fact that Mr. Brown is prepared to accept responsibility for you as his daughter is both admirable and fortunate. You are his flesh and blood. But little Danny …” She shook her head. “Both my boss and I feel that it would be an easier decision if your father were married,” she glanced over at Lizzie, “We believe that it is imperative that Danny isn’t subjected to another separation. A second trauma could be detrimental to the child.”

  “That’s a bit old-fashioned, isn’t it?” Henry said. “I mean, being married doesn’t really mean all that much these days. People get divorced all the time.”

  Ms. Fish nodded slowly. “They do … but it is still a sign of a more sincere commitment to have entered into matrimony, compared to just living together. And it is that sincerity and an established, stable relationship and household that we are looking for when we place children such as little Danny.”

  Henry looked at Lizzie. Was Ms. Fish serious? Was she really going to recommend that the children were separated, even if that meant that his daughter chose to stay in California and ended up in foster care? Just because he wasn’t married? That didn’t seem fair or reasonable.

  But he wasn’t prepared to take a gamble, not when the stakes were his daughter.

  “Fine,” he said. “Then we’ll get married.”

  28

  Lizzie

  Lizzie had just taken a sip of water, and hearing Henry’s matter-of-factly statement almost made her choke. She coughed and sputtered and covered her face with her hand.

  “Sorry,” she croaked. “That went down the wrong way!”

  Ms. Fish was looking at her with a bemused look on her face. “Perhaps you should discuss the matter with your fiancée first,” she said to Henry.

  “Oh, we have discussed it,” Lizzie hurried to say. “We just haven’t set a date.” She glanced at Henry. “We were going to do that as soon as Henry got back from his book tour.”

  He nodded. “That’s right.” He turned toward the social worker. “And if that is what it would take for the kids to stay together, I don’t have a problem with expediting the process.”

  Ms. Fish looked at Julia. “How do you feel about that, Julia?” she asked. “Do you want to live with your father and Ms. Watson?”

  Julia nodded, looking at her brother. “If Danny can come too,” she said.

  Ms. Fish leaned
back. “I will discuss the matter with my boss again. But I imagine that she will recommend a trial period of two weeks. This will give all parties a chance to decide if this arrangement is working for them. I do understand that this has come as a surprise for all of you. We don’t want anyone to rush into something that they might regret. Is everyone fine with that?” She looked around the table.

  Lizzie nodded. She saw Henry and Julia nod as well. Little Danny gurgled contentedly.

  It all seemed so … uncomplicated, but on the inside, Lizzie was a turmoil of confusion. Married? She hadn’t agreed to that. Were they really going to go through with it, or should they just pretend to be married, just as they had been pretending to be engaged? She had no idea. But this would at least give Henry two weeks together with his daughter. That ought to be enough time for them to get to know each other and start forging a relationship. She’d take care of little Danny and make sure that he was happy. Or as happy as he could be. Poor little thing.

  The social worker got up from the table, shaking hands with Henry. She said goodbye to Julia and patted little Danny on the arm.

  “I’ll be back in two weeks then, for an evaluation,” she said.

  Henry followed her to the door. Lizzie looked over the table at Julia, who had directed her attention to the weird pizza again.

  Lizzie was just about to get up from the table when Julia spoke. “Are you two really going to get married,” she asked, not looking up from her plate.

  Lizzie looked at the baby in her arms. “Apparently,” she said.

  What had she gotten herself into?

  29

  Henry

  Fortified by the pizza, they set off to furnish the children’s room. Henry used Yelp to find a couple of stores, and they all crammed into a cab. In the backseat on their way downtown, Lizzie and Julia made a list of everything they needed. The list got longer and longer, but all Henry could think about was that he was sitting next to his daughter. He kept looking at her, studying her. Everything about her fascinated him. Her gestures, the sound of her voice. It pained him to realize that she seemed to take after him in many ways. Imagine, all this time, there had been this person out there, with his mother’s eyes, with his stubbornness. He couldn’t wait to find out what else they had in common.